Evil Plans of the Frenzygals Revealed in Honor of Villain Week

In looking for Villain-esque things to share this week in keeping with our theme, M came across an Evil Plan Generator that has you choose 14 different words/phrases based on different themes and then weaves them together for you into a mad lib of sorts. K wondered why she wouldn’t just use the plan she had already developed but went along with the game anyway. M decided she needed help as Evil is not her default setting, just one of the stages of transformation she sometimes goes through on her way to resolving problems. Our assistant, Kara, wanted to play too and we think hers turned out pretty well.

If you want to create your own plan you can do so by clicking HERE and following the link. Or you can just make one up drawing from your personal experiences and desires for world domination. Your choice.

For inspiration we are including the results M, K, and our assistant got using the generator…

M’s Plan

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Love (Yes, it works)

Stage One: To begin your plan, you must first Kidnap a Scientist. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Threat to our Children? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a Robotic Exoskeleton?

Stage Two: Next, you will Seize control of the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will cause countless hordes of Robot Warriors to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Fuzzy bunnies, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three: Finally, you will Unleash your Needlessly Big Weather Machine, bringing about Something That’s Really Metal. This will all be done from a Warehouse, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

 

Demon Shimmer’s Plan (This is our assistant’s Evil Mermaid Name)

Your objective is simple: World Domination

Your motive is a little bit more complex: So another race can take over

Stage One: To begin your plan, you must first Seduce a Pope. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Threat to our Children? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?

Stage Two: Next, you will Steal the Internet. This will cause countless hordes of Animal Minions (rats, birds, etc.) to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Insanity, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three: Finally, you will Activate your Plague of Doom, bringing about Nightmares for every Man, Woman and Child. This will all be done from a Floating Fortress, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

 

Bloody Grace Flint’s Plan – K has chosen to use her Pirate Name.

Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Power

Stage One: To begin your plan, you must first Expose a Scientist. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Unholy Menace? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a Dark Gunslinger?

Stage Two: Next, you will Destroy the Grand Canyon. This will cause countless hordes of the Undead to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Slaughter, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three: Finally, you will Unleash your Armies of Destruction, bringing about the End of All Things. This will all be done from an Amusement Park, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

 

It was a fun way to waste some time this afternoon and led to us discussing truly evil plans and how we would actually attempt to take over the world. It became pretty clear that M is not really diabolical enough for the job, but K is well-suited for World Domination and as long as M stays on her good side everything should work out okay.

Share YOUR results here in the comments!

How to Be a Villain – the Frenzy Universe Way

It isn’t easy being evil. Really, who has the time to stay up to date on all the latest technology? And the field of competitors is constantly growing!

While we may not know from personal experience, we’ve read lots of books, seen lots of movies, and generally just like the villains better than the heroes most of the time. So, here is our list of traits we think make a great villain… or at least make us chuckle our evil chuckles and twirl our imaginary devilish mustaches.

1. A Sense of Injustice and the Unfairness of it All – Go with us on this one, when you look at most villains they usually have a point. A good reason for your villainy is always preferential as it makes recruiting underlings much easier. Evil for evil’s sake works for some people, but most of us need MOTIVATION to feed our monomania.
2. Persistence – bringing your plans for world domination to fruition often requires you to be ruthless and steadfast in your course of action. Dedication to one’s cause is absolutely necessary. If you give up too easily, well, you weren’t really serious then, were you?
3. Patience – As a villain you will most likely have limited access to object of your intense dislike and may have years to stew over the injustice done to you by said object. You can use that time to hone your evil skills and plans for revenge, to recruit henchmen and train them to fear you, and to develop a truly twisted and unexpected reveal of your tactics and motivations. Patience is a virtue, and even evil geniuses can be virtuous at times.
4. Scientific Training – Have you ever noticed how many villains are doctors? Dr. Doom, Dr. Evil, Dr. Horrible, Dr. Seuss … okay, so maybe not that last one. A familiarity with the principles of chemistry, physics, and biology are quite beneficial to anyone desiring to wreak havoc or cause mass hysteria. Knowledge IS Power after all and supervillains crave power.
5. A Sense of Humor – We mustn’t forget the importance of being witty and sarcastic in the face of opposition. It throws them off and makes them think they can talk you down because you can’t be really serious if you are cracking jokes. But you know the truth. Besides, the bad guys often have the BEST comebacks, don’t they?
6. Henchmen – No woman (or man) is an island, and as the Big Boss you shouldn’t have to get your hands dirty. Therefore, you need underlings to do your bidding. Whether you recruit with fear, a compelling dogma, or simply a monetary arrangement, you will need to have people you can control and trust. You can call them what you like – thugs, henchmen, underlings, minions – but peeps you can trust (or at least pay/bribe/blackmail) are necessary.
7. Facial Hair – We aren’t sure why, but people always look more evil with impressive facial hair. In fact, some particular versions of the mustache have been named after famous real-life villains. It could be that it hides your face. It could be that it gives you something to twirl when making your evil plans. While not essential, a spectacular ‘stache or well-arched eyebrows can truly assist with the whole “looking the part” thing.
8. An Evil Laugh – This is absolutely essential. The bigger, louder, and more maniacal, the better. If you can master starting small and growing the laugh until it fills a room, then you are well on your way. Of course, it also makes it easier for everyone around you to know for sure when you are being diabolical, which enhances your evilness.
9. A Pet – Cats and reptiles seem to be the most common choices, which are fitting as cats are inherently evil and reptiles can be scary, but you could make just about anything work. It gives you a “sidekick” without having to have tenderness towards another human being, which could be exploited to foil your evil plans.
10. A Secret Lair – Having a base of operations gives you a place to hold meetings with other villains to build evil alliances, somewhere to store your equipment and scheme your schemes. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate underground tunnel system, or a chateau in the mountains (although how cool would that be!), but you should at least have your own place. Living above the garage or in your parents’ basement doesn’t really cut it.

There are lots of little nuances and intricacies to creating your supervillain alter-ego that we haven’t even begun to investigate here. We hope this gives you at least a good foundation on which to build a truly evil empire.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

Book Review 11/10 (Yes! I loved it that much!)

I have been meaning to read this book for ages, or ever since I first saw a copy of it propped up at a Barnes & Noble store about 4 years ago. It just kept getting pushed down the list as more boring, pressing, business-relevant information came to light. When I was planning what to take on my vacation to read, this book was grabbed first and I’m so glad it was!

The book is started in a kind of Quentin Tarantino-esque manner by giving you a glimpse at the pivotal plot point first and then taking you into the story and building back up to that climax. Ms. Gruen expertly transports you from the present life of the aged Jacob in an assisted living center back in time through his personal reverie to his intoxicating life as a First of May in a Depression Era traveling circus.

You see the drastic difference between the vigorous young man he once was and the ailing elderly man in his 90s he has become. You get lost in the telling of his past, and so you feel the same jerking the old Jacob feels when pulled back into his life in the home. I wanted to curl up inside his memories and ignore the harsh realities of aging, just as he did.

The descriptions of the circus and the rough lives of the performers and laborers behind the great shows are dead on and you can tell the author did a lot of research and approached the subject with respect and a need to “get it right.” A true behind-the-scenes look at circus life is rare, especially the darker side of the spectacles.

My heart soared, raced, and broke with the rollercoaster telling of lust, romance, jealousy, rage, and triumph. I devoured the book in an afternoon. As I often do when reading a truly excellent book, I started to get anxious and distraught as the number of pages to the back cover began to dwindle and I realized I would soon have to leave this wonderful world. I was honestly surprised when the climactic moment arrived and the plot twist was revealed.

Ms. Gruen made the gritty, beautiful world dance with her words, and left me craving more. I also now want to learn Polish and adopt a retired circus elephant, but I think instead I will have to rent the movie version and see if they did justice to the brilliance of the carefully, lovingly crafted written version that has taken my dreams hostage.

- M of the frenzygals

Let’s All Go to the Library!

In recent years we have become aware of an alarming number of communities in need of launching crusades to save their local library from budget cuts and community disinterest.

Raised in a family of 5 children where there wasn’t much money left over for recreation, we relied heavily on the local library for entertainment, enrichment, and access to information that was otherwise out of reach to us in a rural community.

Many happy hours were spent wandering the stacks picking up tomes with interesting titles or lovely cover art. We found many friends on those shelves with whom we are still intimately acquainted today.

The librarians were kind and often made fantastic recommendations based on our reading history and opened new worlds to us by simply pointing us to the card catalog and teaching us how to use it. Vital research skills were learned in our local library as well as ways of organizing and classifying the “stuff” in our lives.

Both K and I worked our way through college working at libraries and were grateful for the money garnered by shelving endless carts of books. We practically memorized the Dewey Decimal system and still find that knowledge useful today when researching topics of interest. We rely on the local library to get us technique books for projects and to entertain with movies and CDs we can borrow. The local library is actually how M managed to get caught up on LOST when she found herself sucked in halfway through the 3rd season.

If you haven’t been to a library recently, please visit one soon. Renew your library card or sign up for one. (M actually has 5 library cards from different cities in which she has lived. Take advantage of this amazing resource in your neighborhood and encourage others to do the same. They are worth saving and deserve our patronage.

- M of the frenzygals